At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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