i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
