Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
