I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
