So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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