I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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