Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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