North Korea, Best Korea!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Ketchup is God's man juice
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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