If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
