You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
