so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
