You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize