Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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