My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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