She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Randomize
