Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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