I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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