Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
The ass gains better be worth it
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