I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
