have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
