This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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