No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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