Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
