What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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