have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
