Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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