I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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