It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
