can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
