i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
