Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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