I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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