he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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