Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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