My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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