I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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