well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
