Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
