why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
this hospital has no fireball
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
