I wanna bring you to show and tell
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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