my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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