I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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