just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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