that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize