Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
