i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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