We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So many bounce houses so little time
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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