R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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