Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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