he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
