I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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