Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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