the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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