I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
