dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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