dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
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Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
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three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize