it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
